I was just told that I'd be a great adult film producer and that I'd be able to get anyone to star in my movies. I don't know what to do with this comment. It's probably one of the oddest quasi-compliments I've gotten.
It all started with me discussing how I hate the schmooze aspect of this job. I'm not a schmoozer. In fact, I'm anti-social. I don't like to meet new people...I'm exclusive, cold and uncomfortable around new faces, particularly in the business realm. I'm plain, simple and prejudiced and like to stick to my own kind. We got onto this topic because I agreed to meet someone for drinks after work. I know I should and I know it's good to get out there and meet people in other sides of the biz and make connections and learn and yada yada yada...but to be plain honest, I don't wanna! I hate the whole where do you work? Who do you work for? What do you do? And then comes my ultimate dreaded question, what do you want to do with your life? Ugh. Which brings us to the current topic...should I make adult films then? I mean, if one person has enough faith in me to say that I would make a great producer of these films, maybe I should go for it.
I know, I know. Meeting people for drinks and schmoozing really isn't all that bad. And I don't really hate people...well, most people anyhow. But what I really don't like is having to deal with people asking me what I want to do with my life. I am forever in limbo about what direction I should take my life. One day I'm telling myself "yeah, this is what I want. I want to make some really great movies, not any of that shit that is constantly being spun out." Then other days, I want nothing to do with this industry. Oh what to do, what to do. It's so obvious though. I mean, look at me. Just a month ago I was on my way to being an Olympic Table Tennis player. Three months ago I was going to be a hard core skater. Two weeks ago I wanted to play backup guitar (is there such thing? maybe I'm making up the position) for Lisa Loeb. I'm like a schizophrenic career achiever. What is my Tru Calling (anyone ever watch that show? how is that still on the air and not Wonderfalls? Bushit I tell you, Bushit.)? Even my writing is schizophrenic. I can't complete one thought without bringing up another. Do yall think I'm schizophrenic? What if I am? What if my hearing loss is just a symptom of it? Oh no! I just know it. I'm going to be 60 years old and still wondering what to do with my life. I wish someone could just tell me. It'd be so much easier than me figuring it out.
Posted by Mollie Gamo at September 30, 2004 12:13 PM | TrackBackI think the next time someone starts asking those stupid fucking questions, use one of your greatest talents: your uncanny ability to lie outrageously while keeping a straight face. Say something like taxidermy or beekeeping. And then just go with it. Ask a stupid question, you'll get a stupid answer is my motto.
Posted by: Caroleena at October 1, 2004 03:26 PMman, i luf laurel.
Posted by: gamo*phi at October 1, 2004 03:25 PMat the risk of sounding like some annoying self-help book, i´m gonna say this anyway:
it´s not about what you want to do with your life in the future, it´s how you enjoy getting there. if you can just have fun with the whole adventure of it all, you´re doing it right - you´ve got things way more figured out than the rest of the world. be happy, mollie belle, and screw those future-focused boneheads!
Posted by: laurel at October 1, 2004 02:38 PMI know how you feel.
Posted by: Rich at September 30, 2004 07:43 PM