I am an asshole. It's football season, which, by my standards, means it's beer season. Once upon a time (Saturday) I was at a USC football game, drinking the time away. Three and a half beers later (I'm a lightweight too), my sister Robee called me. It started something like this:
Me: Heeeeyyy!!!
Robee: Hi Moll. Whatcha doin?
Me: I'm at the SC football game! Wooooo!
Robee: (chuckle) Ooh...sounds like you're having fun...
Me: I am!!! Wooooo! Fight on!!! What's going on??!!!
At this point we were heading towards the Colliseum. We then ran into these lovely people who were selling beers (Coronas) for a dollar each. I got so excited and started talking to these wonderful folks and hung up on my sister...not necessarily deliberately but involuntarily...the beer took over me. I blame the booze. Asshole. Yeah, so she called me again but got my voicemail and left a message pouting: "You hung up on me..." Yeah, I know. Asshole.
So then I called her back later that night and apologized for my inebriated behavior. She said it was okay and she wasn't mad..."Well, you were gonna be the first to know, but now you're the last. Yeah, well, so I'm pregnant." Asshole of the year. How awful is that? I know. I'm a terrible sister. There's no denying that. But back to the real news! She's preggers! Whoa! She told me in disbelief about how when she told my other sister Myleen, Myleen threatened her by saying, "You better have a girl!"...in which case, I joined right in and said, "uhh, yeah!" I know this is a really sad/low incident on my behalf but think about the great story it will make, especially when I tell her daughter when she's like 16. She'll so appreciate it. Awesome.
I realize maybe I shouldn't tell about my sister's condition on the gamo*phi parade because not everybody knows...but I am fairly confident that nobody reads this anyway. Eh. It's exciting news and I'm an asshole.
oh shit!
Posted by: moll at November 10, 2004 12:58 PMHmmm…seems to be a theme. I remember fondly a moment at your sisters wedding reception where you were obviously enjoying a bottomless mai tai as the sun was setting over the calm waters of Hanelei Bay. You sister's new husband approached you to give you a warm embrace – a symbol of gratitude that you and your kin welcomed him into a loving family. And then, under a fog of dark rum and orange curacao you slurred something that will touch his life forever, “Ya know, when I first met you I thought ‘who is this asshole and why is he movin’ in on my sista.’” Oh, the memories of that special day.
Got to go now – on my way to court to file that restraining order.