gamo*phi parade

Seeing Orange

Within the last five days, I've become something of a pumpkin fiend. I can't help it...but I love pumpkin! Pumpkin pie, pumpkin cheesecake, pumpkin bread...I love it all! And I just had one of the most delicious pumpkin cupcakes ever!! (I really haven't ever tried a pumpkin cupcake before, but that's beside the point.) It's a gal at work's birthday today and we had yummy cupcakes from Joan's on 3rd. Delicioso! I know that I am only now a fan because of the recent holiday...and that maybe in the first 10 months of this year I thought about pumpkin-anything maybe once...but I don't care...call me a trend-follower...whatever. I admit to climbing on the bandwagon here and there. Pumpkins....mmm. Pumpkin pie with vanilla ice cream...yumm. Today I was online looking for all sorts of recipes for pumpkin flavored desserts and dishes. But my big question is, now that Thanksgiving and Halloween is over, are all the pumpkins going to go away? Do I need to run to the market after work and buy them out of all things pumpkin? Or do I have until Christmas? I can't remember really having pumpkin pie at Christmas, but then again, I find it hard to believe that all pumpkins disappear after Thanksgiving. I think I should go to the market tonight...just in case.

The Way We Were

All I have to say is...What were we thinking?! We should have known better...especially coming from an earthy SF man with dreads in Golden Gate Park. Look how innocent and happy we are in this photo. Damn...those chocolate balls...those fucking chocolate balls. Oh well...it was an experience.

I cannot believe how cold it has been. You know it's a problem when you're sitting in your house and your nose is so cold that it's starting to run. In my house!! (shaking my head) It's sad...really sad. I have a space heater/radiator in my room, but the last two nights, it just hasn't been enough. I find myself putting on more and more layers of clothing before going to bed. What is that?! I'm going to bed...not going out in the snow! L.A.'s not supposed to be this cold...what is this 45° weather bushit? It's so absurd! I admit it...I'm a SoCal snob. Anything below 65° or above 80° is just unbearable.

Haha...by the way, if you look real closely, you can see I'm wearing my retainer in this photo. Aha!

Kramer Mini

After the weekend I've had, this is how I feel.

The UnTurkey

I am so full right now, I can hardly breathe. I can't remember the last time I was this full. Being a veg...Thanksgiving isn't always the most exciting holiday. But I was determined to keep from filling my plate with just side dishes. Why must veggies suffer like this? No more! So today I made an UnTurkey...not a Tofurkey, but an UnTurkey. I had a Tofurkey last Christmas and it was really delicious. It didn't look very appetizing, but it was. So when I went to Whole Foods this week, I fully intended to buy another Tofurkey. But then I came across the UnTurkey. I had to try it...so I bought it and made it today. Um, yeah. Not so good. Pretty weak actually. It was way too spongy and too rosemary-ish. Yeah, not a fan.

Being off work is a strange feeling. Yesterday I left work at 1:15pm and I didn't know what to do with myself. It's so bizarre to see the light of day during the week. After working in a cube, under fluorescent lighting, for 11 hours a day, for a year and a half, you kind of forget what it's like to be out and about during the day, on a weekday. It's really quite an eye opening experience. So what did I do? I hung out with my sister and my nephew...we went to the mall...I took a nap. It was delightful! I gotta do this whole half day at work thing again.

It was a little embarassing yesterday at work though. I had to find a couple dvds for an exec...The Passion of the Christ and Elf. So I called Tower Records. They said they had them, I said great, and that was that. Flash forward 3 hours later, the messenger comes and plops 2 dvds onto my desk. What were they? The Passion of the Christ and...Alf: The Complete 1st Season. What? Are you kidding me? Alf?! Why would I want Alf?! Elf!!! Elf!!! How ricockulous is that?! Damn retainer...

Oh goodie!

Today at work, not only did I create this brilliant holiday greeting....but a friend of mine created this for me...

Ode to Mollie by Rebecca Hutner

SassySexyBex: eek
SassySexyBex: mollusk of the sea
SassySexyBex: shiny & free
SassySexyBex: how i wish i were thee

Goodie, goodie gumdrops!

Solidifying my appearance as a 14 year old

One of my biggest insecurities is that I think I look too young. I look like a kid. People don't believe me when I tell them how old I am. I get carded getting into wishy washy R rated movies like "Love Actually." It's ridiculous. And just when I thought I couldn't do anything else to make myself look younger...I get a retainer. What am I? 14? Jesus! Yeah. So this weekend, the good dentist gave me a retainer. I'm trying to fix my teeth and he says it'll take aboot 6 months...in which I will have to wear this thing all the time. All the time. The good doctor said so. My compromise is that I'll wear it at work, but not when I go out. It's like, are you kidding? If I were to go to a bar with a retainer in my mouth there is no way in hell they are going to think that that ID belongs to me! I have a hard time as it is! Anyhow, now I speak with a lisp and I definitely look 14. Huzzah.

Do Vegetarians get sick more often?

This is the third time this year that I've been sick. I don't know if that's really a lot. I mean, there have been years where I was sick maybe 5 or 6 times...and other years where I only got sick once. I know 5 or 6 times in a year is a lot...that's like every other month, but is 3? I feel like that's not that much. But a friend of mine keeps telling me, "You're always sick. I think it's because you're a vegetarian." Do you think that's true? Do you think vegetarians are more susceptible to the flu? Because we lack certain nutrients that are in meat? I don't know. I've been a veg for aboot a year and a half now and for the first 8 months or so, I never got sick. It's only been since March that I've been sick...which I guess if you put it in that perspective, being sick 3 times since March is a lot. I don't know if I really buy this whole "sick because you're a vegetarian" theory. I had a friend who was a vegetarian and she never got sick. Then again, she was also a compulsive germaphobe...so that could have helped the whole non-sickness. I don't know. But when my friend said this to me today, he really made me rethink my choice of eating habits. What if I started eating meat again...chicken, ribs, corned beef on St. Patrick's Day...mmmm. Whoa...am I really craving meat? But then again, what if I eat it and really don't enjoy it? What if eating it, in turn, makes me sick...like I can no longer digest the stuff? Hmmm. Yeah, no, I don't think I'll be changing my eating habits any time soon...however, I did give it some thought today.

Pet Peeves

After working so long at one place, you tend to develop the most ridiculous pet peeves. Here are mine...forgive me, it's been that kind of week:

Rubberbands - This is the most useless office supply there is. What's the point? So you can rubberband large stacks of paper together? So that it can roll and bend the paper? So that you can rubberband all your pencils together? No. Use a folder, use a mug. The only thing rubberbands are good for rubberband balls....oh and shooting them at your intern.

Messy common areas - In our department, we have our own copy machine and copy room. I don't mind people using our machine...but damn it! Don't leave your shit around! It's not your own personal space. I'm not your mother. Fucking pick up after yourself. I don't want to see you water sitting on top of our machine and I certainly do not want random script pages lying around. I'll throw them away...I will.

Proper size brads - If you have a 60 page teleplay, don't put it together with the 2 inch brads. Jesus! (Hay-zeus! Not Gee-zus!) Use the 3/4 inch brads...or even the 1-1/4 inch (I'll let those slide)...but don't use the bigger ones. Why would you do that? The 2 inch ones are so scant around here, why would you waste it on a regular sized script when we have a TON of brads that could easily accomodate it? Hmph!

Loading the trays - If you are using our machine and it runs out of paper, don't just put one rehm in there. Fucking load that shit up. The tray takes 6 rehms of paper...at least load it with 3 rehms. That's the least you could do, especially after always using our machine, using up all our paper, leaving your shit around for me to pick up.

For those of you who missed my email last week...

Hey everyone,

I know I don't completely share the same ideas and values as all of you but I feel as though at a time like this, it is important that I let the people in my life know how I'm feeling and what I am thinking about...it's important to me. These last few days...I've been on a true cerebral rollercoaster. My emotions have ranged drastically from depression, to despair, to hopelessness, to struggle, to inspiration, to determination. I know the last few days have been really dark, more so for some of you than others, and I want to remind you that you are not alone. I've heard a lot of people talk about their sadness regarding the election...there have been a lot of jokes, a lot of criticism, and a lot of cynicism. And that's all fine...but it doesn't have to stop there. Just because the election is over, that does not mean, that our fight and our struggle to change things is over too.

The election is over. As much as we wish we could, we can't change the outcome. We should commend ourselves for the tremendous effort we put in to fight for change, to fight for our rights, to fight for true equality. But just because that man is still in power, it does not mean that we have to succumb to his ideals, to his values, to his morals. Sure, he's gonna fuck us all over...he can...but we don't have to give in or give up. We don't have to just stand and watch. Our fight does not have to stop. I know some of you share with me my feelings for the current administration. I think Bush is a liar. I do not trust him and I DO NOT feel safer with him in control. I know our country is well divided in our position in the war...and that no matter who ended up in office it wouldn't change the fact that we are screwed in Iraq. We are already well in this mess and there is no easy solution, no matter what we wish to believe. But there is more to George W's hate and discrimination than just the war...his positions to ban gay and lesbian marriage, to deny women their right to choose, his love for oil and negligence towards the environment. He may have started the No Child Left Behind program, but how much money and time is he REALLY lending towards it?

I'm tired of other countries laughing at us, not supporting us, hating us. I want them to know that not everybody in this country agrees with Bush. He may be the elected "leader" of our country but not everybody is following. He DOES NOT represent my beliefs, my values, or who I am. He does not accept me as a pro-choice, lesbian Filipina-American and so I certainly DO NOT accept him as the President of the United States. And this is where my fight will continue. I am not going to just stand by as he screws us over. I am going to let my voice be heard...not only to our government, but to the American people. That is where we all can continue to fight. Although some of us may speculate otherwise, Bush won the election because the people chose him. So we may bark and yell at the government for all of their decisions, but it's not just them that we need to be talking to. We need to reach out to the American people and educate them and inform them of what's really going on. That is what I plan to do. It's easy to move on, continue with our regular lives and live in our own little bubbles. I can be just happy living here in LA, with my liberal friends, going about my own business, carrying on as usual...but when it comes down to it, that's not enough for me. I don't want to live in a discriminating country. I want this country to move towards true equality and freedom. I am truly disheartened that most people in this country share the same values as those of Bush. I want to change that and I will fight for it. I'm not asking for all conservatives to become liberal, but rather I am asking them to open their eyes and be fair-minded. Isn't this supposed to be the great land of the FREE?

Now, you may be asking, why is she telling us all this? Why doesn't she just go out and do it? Well, I say, what's the point of fighting for a cause that nobody knows you're fighting for? This is important to me and I want you all to know this because it's part of who I am. I've spoken to some of you and I know you feel the same devastation as I do, and I hope that you will continue to let your voice be heard about the issues you feel strongly about. The fight is not over and we do not need to start "the healing process". I do not exactly know how I'm going to do this, continue to "fight the fight." But I do know that my activist side did not end with our defeat in the election. Instead it just sparked that side of me and gave it more fire.

I know this has been an extremely long email and I greatly appreciate those of you who actually held the patience to read it. But here is my invitation to any of you who feel the same as I do to join me in taking some action...whether it be just through talking about the issues or joining some groups who continuously devote their time and effort to getting things done. I refuse to be apathetic towards our country's issues and the government's decisions and I hope you will join me in doing the same. And for those of you who did vote for Bush...everytime he screws up, everytime he discriminates, everytime he proposes a constitutional amendment, I want you to remember....you voted for him.

Okay, thank you all and peace out...

Mollie

I did it...

Am I a loser? Does this solidify me as a loner? I went to a show...by myself. I did it. I didn't think I could, but Laurel convinced me otherwise. I do admit to going to movies by myself. I like it. You don't have to worry if the person you're with is having an okay time, or if they're enjoying the movie. Okay, so it's a selfish reason, but whatever. Bottom line...I don't mind going to the movies by myself. But I had never gone to a concert alone...until tonight. Yeah. That's right. But concerts are a little different though. They are more of a social event, especially at the Largo, where the setting is so intimate and up close and personal. I saw Jill Sobule there tonight all by myself. I was so proud of my independence that I had to document it (see above). But instead of thinking aboot it in terms of strength and independence, is it just plain sad instead? Oh no. I sat at the bar, and lucky for me, on either side of me were some really interesting guys...and like me, they were by themselves too. They were both really friendly and they saved my seat when I used the restroom. Even though I had a great time tonight, I'm not sure I could quite do it again. It's empowering in the sense that I feel as though I can do whatever I want to do and am not dependent on a kind of security blanket, but at the same time, I think it just might be pathetic. Hmmm. Yeah. I don't think I'll do it again...unless I'm really desperate.

So, Jill, as usual, was amazing tonight. I especially loved her occasional political remarks. Who am I kidding...I'm downplaying it way too much. It deserves all the attention...she sang a new song she wrote about a blue America. Heh. Then she whipped out "Texas," "Youthful Indiscretions," and "Soldiers of Christ." Ha! She is so great. She's an artist who is using her talent to voice her opinion and what she believes in. Power to the people!!

gamo*phi PERSPECTIVES

Once again...please welcome Andrew Dodge...

Illegitimate Children of the Revolution

Every generation has its “Great” moment. There was the Great Depression.
Then the Great War. Now we have the Great Mistake. Yes, sugarplums… our generation will forever be known as the “What the fuck were they thinking?!” generation.

“Generation: ?!” if you will…

Nov. 4 was so astonishingly astonishing that not even the platoons of lawyers salivating in all the battleground states could muster a comment or complaint. It was the day the vote stood still.

It’s like the Freedom Family invited Democracy to this party that’s thrown every four years and right in the middle of telling an interesting story Democracy cuts the loudest fart in history. Even louder than the Lee Greenwood blaring through the pioneer speakers that were bought from a couple of over eager Mexicans in a van at the local Best Buy parking lot. Democracy farted. And all the Freedoms are going to try their hardest to pretend they didn’t hear it.

But John Kerry heard it. In fact, he heard it so loud and clear he thinks it’s time for the Healing Process to begin. “Hey everyone, I realize we appear to once again be the pansy losers the Republicans always try to paint us to be, so I recommend we all just lay down and let them have their way with us for the next four years.”

I don’t think I can let the healing process begin. This is a scab that needs picking. This is a scar that needs to remain. Did you see the looks on all those old white faces of the GOP Wednesday AM? They looked like horny boyfriends who have just been given permission to shove their popcorn butter slathered hands down their date’s shirt at a Friday night movie.

After all, John Kerry wasn’t really running against Bush. He was running against Jesus. He was running against the holy three-headed hydra that in medieval America is often called Thefatherthesontheholyghost. Bush had the blood of Christ on his ticket. Kerry only had ketchup.

It’s a weird thing to be voting For or Against Jesus at polling stations across the nation located at churches. How many God Faring Christies could deny Jesus a second term under the shadow of the holy cross?

I don’t know about all of you, but I am an illegitimate child of a new revolution. I didn’t want this revolution. And neither did the Saudis. Or the Hummer Company. Or Jesus. But it has landed on my head like droppings from an apathetic pigeon that just ate way too much hot dog bits left over from a little league game. So now I must act. How? Shit. I dunno. But the first step is being willing to act. And that’s a big step for a country who’s people think freedom is all about being able to sit on your couch when you want. So, at least I’ve taken the first step. Maybe it will be only me. But these times are making me talk to myself too much anyway.

A thought...

I know I have a phone voice. Guilty. It's a little higher pitched and has a sweeter/innocent tone to it. But those of you who really know me have heard my more usual tone...a little deeper and a bit sardonic. I was just thinking about voice tone...and I realize that I despise baby talk. Whether it's towards your significant other, a bebe, a kid, or a pet...I don't like it. Only...and I seriously mean ONLY...is it okay, if you're using the tone in a mocking/joking way. The end.

I need some Zoloft or something...

I am soo depressed. I just can't believe what this country has come to. The thing that mostly saddens me is that the reports say that most people voted the way they did because of MORAL values. This truly disheartens me. I have completely lost faith in the American people. I used to think that before traveling around the world, I want to be sure and travel around my country first...to really know and understand its history, people. But you know what? As far as I'm concerned, those fly over states are dead to me. I don't give a shit anymore. Turn their back on me and I'll turn my back on them. How can they preach "morality" and "freedom" and say that's the reason we need to do what we're doing in Iraq when they can't even keep the peace and freedom in their own country? Instead they are just dividing us.

Living in LA, I'm surrounded by an incredible crowd of people...open minded, accepting people. And I'm not saying that there are only democrats and uber-hippy types here...there is definitely a good share of staunch conservatives (they're even friends of mine). But what I am saying is that people in LA are more open minded to such ideas that maybe one day...possibly in the somewhat near future...we may have a woman President or a black President and that commited gay and lesbian couples deserve all the same benefits as married couples. Living in such an open forum of a city, I sometimes forget that the whole country doesn't think this openly...that somewhere in the middle, there are still prejudiced and ignorant people. I think the west coast should secede from the rest of this close minded country. How can people honestly trust that man to run our country??!! He's a liar, he's an idiot, and completely incapable of running this country. I have no faith in the man and the fact that he is supposed to represent our country, the country that is supposed to be the land of the FREE, the country with endless opportunities, the country that I live in...is infuriating to me. He may be President of the United States, but he DOES NOT represent ME, who I am, and what I believe in.

This whole election has made me do a lot of thinking about the kind of life I'm living and the kind of world I live in. It has forced me to think about what I believe to be important in life. And sure, I would love to continue living in my liberal bubble...focusing mostly on what is directly surrounding and affecting me...but ultimately, that's not what I want in my life. I don't want to live in a country that I don't believe in. I've thought about moving, but I know that won't solve anything. I would just be running away from the problem. That might help me, myself, but it won't help the cause. I don't want to be apathetic towards the issues in the world. I want to live for a greater social cause. To live in a world that I have no hope for, that I do not believe in, is not worth living for. So now, I pledge that from here on out, I am going to change the world. Just watch me.

Vote! Vote! Vote!

It took me one hour to vote this morning...but it was well worth it. I am so nervous right now. I think I'm having an anxiety attack.