Once again...please welcome Andrew Dodge...
Illegitimate Children of the Revolution
Every generation has its “Great” moment. There was the Great Depression.
Then the Great War. Now we have the Great Mistake. Yes, sugarplums… our generation will forever be known as the “What the fuck were they thinking?!” generation.
“Generation: ?!” if you will…
Nov. 4 was so astonishingly astonishing that not even the platoons of lawyers salivating in all the battleground states could muster a comment or complaint. It was the day the vote stood still.
It’s like the Freedom Family invited Democracy to this party that’s thrown every four years and right in the middle of telling an interesting story Democracy cuts the loudest fart in history. Even louder than the Lee Greenwood blaring through the pioneer speakers that were bought from a couple of over eager Mexicans in a van at the local Best Buy parking lot. Democracy farted. And all the Freedoms are going to try their hardest to pretend they didn’t hear it.
But John Kerry heard it. In fact, he heard it so loud and clear he thinks it’s time for the Healing Process to begin. “Hey everyone, I realize we appear to once again be the pansy losers the Republicans always try to paint us to be, so I recommend we all just lay down and let them have their way with us for the next four years.”
I don’t think I can let the healing process begin. This is a scab that needs picking. This is a scar that needs to remain. Did you see the looks on all those old white faces of the GOP Wednesday AM? They looked like horny boyfriends who have just been given permission to shove their popcorn butter slathered hands down their date’s shirt at a Friday night movie.
After all, John Kerry wasn’t really running against Bush. He was running against Jesus. He was running against the holy three-headed hydra that in medieval America is often called Thefatherthesontheholyghost. Bush had the blood of Christ on his ticket. Kerry only had ketchup.
It’s a weird thing to be voting For or Against Jesus at polling stations across the nation located at churches. How many God Faring Christies could deny Jesus a second term under the shadow of the holy cross?
I don’t know about all of you, but I am an illegitimate child of a new revolution. I didn’t want this revolution. And neither did the Saudis. Or the Hummer Company. Or Jesus. But it has landed on my head like droppings from an apathetic pigeon that just ate way too much hot dog bits left over from a little league game. So now I must act. How? Shit. I dunno. But the first step is being willing to act. And that’s a big step for a country who’s people think freedom is all about being able to sit on your couch when you want. So, at least I’ve taken the first step. Maybe it will be only me. But these times are making me talk to myself too much anyway.
Posted by Mollie Gamo at November 5, 2004 10:29 AM | TrackBack