December 21, 2004
Little Miss Scatter Brain
Lately I've noticed myself to be quite the scatter-brain. My attention span has shrunk from the size of jean pocket lint to the size of a Luna Bar crumb. (Huh?) I'd be engrossed in conversation and then 4 minutes later I find myself with no idea about what is going on and what has been said. I can't complete my thoughts...hell, I can hardly complete my sentences. Shoot...it's taken me 10 minutes (!) to write this much of this entry! This is ridiculous! I don't like it one bit. When I drive, I end up taking the scenic route because I keep missing my turns. And this past weekend I ran a red light! What? How does that happen? I just completely ran the light. It wasn't yellow, almost red...it was solid red. Although it's a usually busy intersection, I was lucky...extremely lucky...that at that moment, it was not its usual hustle-bustle. I think I've just got way too much on my mind. But about what? Everything. I don't know why but just lately I've been thinking way too much about everything: how I'm never going to finish my holiday shopping, how I need to start running again, what I am going to do with my life, what is important to me, what is the meaning of life...you know, simple things like that. I don't know why I'm letting all this heaviness in...letting it all weigh down on me, but for some reason, it is. And it's making me the most flighty person this holiday season.
December 20, 2004
A Change...will NOT do me good
Wimper, wimper. Strange things are happening here in the office. Too many changes...and I don't like them one bit. Everyone is leaving me. They're all moving upstairs...and I get to sit here, in my sad little cube, all by my lonesome self. Recess just won't be the same anymore. I have noone to run down the hall to to tell aboot the little drama in my life. I have noone down the hall to play practical jokes on anymore. I have noone down the hall to partake in special bevs with anymore. It's just me and Andrew now. It's going to be quiet, boring, and just plain square here on the 2nd floor of Thalberg now. There's noone to fuck with. Boo.
Even worse, someone has moved into my hall. This is MY HALL. It's always been my hall. Sure, there is that one woman who comes maybe once a week...but for the most part...this is my turf. But this new girl...ugh. I think I say everything in just saying she is one of those assistants. I'm talking the whole nine yards...plants a plenty, personalized desk gadgets...and get this...she's brewing her own coffee on her desk. What the fuck!? Who does that!?!?! Who does she think she is!?!? This is not cool. I am NOT okay with this. I don't like her...and it's only been a few hours. She even has her own radio at her desk. And guess what station it's on...mm hmm...that's right...the Wave. So wrong (shaking my head).
Why does there have to be so much change around here? And why am I not a part of any of it?! I hate change! Change sucks! Change blows! I know, I know. I'm being melodramatic aboot all this. But it really, really does suck. I know sometimes change can be really good...when all is so static, change can help spicen things up. But none of this change is for the better...at least not for me. And let's be real now...it's all about me. Let's face it. The real issue here is that I'm feeling left out. I hate to admit it, but it's true. Everyone is getting all these great new jigs and I'm stuck here, in my same cube, in my same job, doing the same thing. Pooh. I know it's not all that bad, but once again, I'm feeling a little out of the loop. (Wow, I'm sounding really pathetic right now.) I'm just sad that me friends are going away. Tear.
December 16, 2004
December 15, 2004
Ho Hum
We're already midway through December. Inconceivable! Where did the time go? I'm finally getting a start on Christmas shopping...I know...I'm ridiculously behind. I'm finally almost done with work people. Almost. Then I've taken care of 2 friends....and that's it. That's all I've done. I haven't gotten anything for anyone in my family. I expect this Christmas to be very much like the last. Christmas shopping on the 23rd. Each year I tell myself, "Next year will be different. I won't wait until the last minute. I'm gonna get all my shopping done early." But no. It never happens. I think it's just my nature.
Procrastination is in my blood. All through school...I never started a paper earlier than the night before it was due; all through work...I'm waiting for the very last minute to take care of all these check requests (shit!); all through life...all the things I've been meaning to do, but have managed to hold off: learning how to swim, coming out to my parents, getting my motorcycle license. I am always in a rush and I am always a wee bit late. Damn me! I can't help it though. I mean, look at the way I was raised...every Sunday my family was 15-20 minutes late to church. If we were on time, we turned heads in that congregation. When I was in 3rd grade, I was the flower girl in my cousin's wedding...um, yeah...definitely late, and definitely missed the processional march (that's what it's called, right?) in the beginning. I know. It's really sad. I might be meshing into the issue of tardiness, but I feel as though procrastination and tardiness are very much related. They go hand in hand. Usually the reason I'm late is because I got caught up in doing something I hadn't finished. Why? Because I waited until the last minute to do it. I was procrastinating...procrastinating getting ready, procrastinating cooking that dish for that potluck, procrastinating getting that birthday gift ready for that party. Right. You can definitely count this as one of my flaws.
December 14, 2004
December 10, 2004
December 08, 2004
Sad
It's sad when the highlight of your day consists of you being able to scan a 379 page manuscript all in one run without it jamming. Sad.
December 07, 2004
The Fat Lady has Sung
Hell has frozen over. Pigs are flying. After a year and a half working in the story department with Andrew Dodge, I finally have successfully made him spit up his drink. I can't tell yall aboot the countless times I tried making him laugh while he was swigging from that Wild Turkey bottle (or water bottle...whatever). It's been a year and a half long dream of mine to do this, and now it's over. It was beautiful. The best part is that I didn't even do anything new. He spied me through the double cubicle glass and proceeded to quench his thirst. I took the opportunity to do my Grudge boy impersonation....and then it happened. Pfffffffttt! It was a beaut! Too bad nobody was walking down the hall to see it.
December 06, 2004
I think there's something in the air
I don't know what's going on, but there's something going around here in the office. Andrew has it, I have it....and we don't know how to get over it. It's twitchitis. For some reason, our eyes won't stop twitching! I've had it for maybe 2½ weeks now...and it hasn't even been the same eye throughout! First, it started with my right eye, and now, it's in my left eye. What's going on? Why is this happening to me? Twitchitis is the worst because although it's hardly noticeable to anyone you speak to, you, yourself, feel it and can't help but be paranoid that it's uber-noticeable. I hate this!
December 01, 2004
Personnes foutues
Aujourd'hui j'écris en français parce que je puis. Est-ce que je puis juste prendre un moment ici à rant au sujet des personnes? Pourquoi les gens doivent-ils faire des choses ont-ils ainsi compliqué toute l'heure foutue? Certaines certains aiment créer le drame. Elles prospèrent au loin du drame. Je ne puis pas être tracassé avec des personnes comme cela. Je ne puis pas également être tracassé avec les personnes égoïstes. Les gens attendent trop parfois. Ils pensent seulement à eux-mêmes et il est ridicule. Quelques personnes sont seulement vivantes parce qu'il est illégal de tuer. Je suis si fatigué simplement de l'article truqué, personnes superficielles et égoïstes. À où est-ce que toutes les VRAIES personnes sont?