gamo*phi parade

A Continuation of my Woes

In a very desperate attempt to find the "answer" to my life (pause), I posted a Myspace bulletin. Here is what I posted...

Subject: Suggestions

Anybody have any ideas on what I should do with my life?

Because I'm all out of ideas.

I'm lost.

Help me find my way.

PLEASE.

Power to the parade.

It's crazy how many responses I'll get from one Myspace bulletin, but hardly any from a gamo*phi parade post. Go figure (like I said...6 readers). But I got a wide variety of responses...I'm trying to keep my options open.

♠ Mike · Personal Assistant to David Hasselhoff
♠ B-rad · Dedicate the next 4 years of your life in the pursuit of Olympic Gold in the Sport of Curling
♠ Sarah · Open a Wine Bar (this coming from a woman I met at...yes...a wine bar)
♠ Skye · Get a kick ass new hairstyle; Go on a trip; Join a volunteer organization; Take a class; Move to New York; Become a voiceover actress
♠ Brigid · Go on Reality TV (Amazing Race or Survivor - not Wife Swap)
♠ Mindy · Eat, Drink & be Merry
♠ Lourdes · Figure out what in my Life makes me Happy - write everything down and find a job that will allow those things to happen or will give me enough time to enjoy those things
♠ Nick · Move to Spain and become a Matador
♠ April · Move somewhere New and do Something that sounds like Fun
♠ Ryan · Become a plummer
♠ Marla · Get a job where I get to Travel - then Write about it

Not bad, huh? They're good suggestions. Brigid's whole idea about Reality TV is that it's a good way to entertain myself and if I can win on one of these shows, it'll give me some pad money to go out and do whatever I want or whatever makes me happy. I won't have to burden myself with some 9 to 5 (blow)job that I am unhappy in. Interesting idea. Only I really really don't like Reality TV...except for Project Runway...oh and sometimes American Idol...okay, okay and Amazing Race...and don't make fun of me for crying while watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition...and who could resist Lisa Loeb in #1 Hottie Single (...Hey-Zeus...When did I become such a TV junkie again?)? These are good shows! Doh! But I don't think I could really put myself through the emotional rollercoaster of a Reality TV Show (you can bet I'd be the cryer). However, I bet I'd lose a lot of weight if I were on Survivor. Hmmm.

Brad's suggestion to strive to compete in the Olympics. I think I'm past that phase. Two years ago, during the Summer Olympics, I was determined to become an Olympic Athlete. After scouring through all eligible sports I thought I could master in 8 years, I came to the conclusion that Table Tennis was my answer. For a month, I went to the Westside Table Tennis Center where I learned the game of Table Tennis under the direction of Coach Wei Wang (of the 1996 U.S. Olympic Team). She was excited to have a girl in the house...it was a sausage fest in there. But then...the dream faded...and I stopped going. It was fun...but I wasn't passionate enough about the sport to go all the way (but I coulda been in the 2012 Olympics...yup, me in the Olympics...that's right...i was sooooooooooo good...errr...).

Skye had a poop load of ideas. The haircut...already done...last weekend. It's ok. I'm still trying to "find" the style. As for a trip...I DO hope to go somewhere this summer. Hopefully to Australia to visit Elissa and Carl or to Japan to visit Jenny. There was a war to decide which was better when we all went out to dinner together. Nikki and I are going to decide later. Volunteering is good. I wanted to do this. I filled out a volunteer form at the beginning of the year for GLAD (Greater Los Angeles Agency on Deafness). But I have yet to volunteer for any events. I'm always up for taking classes to learn new things or brush up on something. Unfortunately, most classes aren't time convenient with my work schedule. Classes I'd like to take: Sign Language, French, Spanish...basically any language classes or classes requiring physical activity. New York...I've always wanted to move there...just don't know if now is a good time. And finally...voiceover work. Interesting. Andrew is convinced I need to do this. It could be fun. It's just really difficult to break into. Again...do I have enough passion for this to throw in all the effort?

Nick, April, Marla...also suggested I move. It's kinda true. I've been in SoCal all of my life. But where shall I go and what shall I do? (Whoa. Suddenly I'm Scarlett O'Hara. Ha.) I have to think about that before I can even consider leaving Los Angeles. I love it here. But truth be told, I'm afraid to leave the nest. I think I definitely need to do this at some point, though. But is now the right time? This is a constant debate in my head. It does sound exciting though...

And Lourdes. Aww. She's a sweetheart and she's absolutely right. I need to make a list (lists are fun) of everything I want to do and everything that makes me happy. She says that I might not necessarily find the answer IN a 9 to 5 setting, but perhaps the 9 to 5 will give me enough time on my own to do what DOES make me happy. Maybe I won't be happy as a teacher, but perhaps it will give me the time to have my own online business selling my handcrafted wallets. (Ok, maybe that's a bad example because really, what teacher has a lot of free time...no papers to grade, no lesson plans to make...right, not realistic...but you get the idea.) Really, I need to just brainstorm and meditate and do a lot of thinking on my own. I mean real thinking. I need to set aside some real time for me to do nothing, but just be lost in my own thoughts. I don't mean just relaxing. I mean no television (even though watching Survivor COULD help me devise a strategy to win the competition), no music (at least none with words), no distractions. Maybe I can have a pad and pencil (I'm old school...no pens). But otherwise, I just need the air to breathe and my mind to be free of my daily worries and tasks. NO DISTRACTIONS...that's what this is really about. It's during this time that I'll really be able to be selfish and think about myself and what I want. I'm not saying I need this all the time...but I should be able to set aside at least 30 minutes a day for this. It'll be hard...you know...the whole "no distractions" thing...i mean, do you know how many times I got distracted in this post?...but really, I think this could really help me.

I guess in some ways, this blog is helping me figure it out...while at the same time allowing me to vent and express my frustration and doubts. This must be boring for all of you, sorry. But this is what's goin on in my head, in the gamo*phi parade.

Posted by Mollie Gamo at March 1, 2006 11:20 AM | TrackBack